Bene Santi

Comforts.

2012-01-28T22:35:00.003+08:00

Sunrise. Sunset.

I've been talking about the uncertain future a lot lately,

but it's always comforting to know that some things stay the same.

Taguig City, Metro Manila. January, 2012.

I'm an Archer.

2012-01-28T22:31:00.001+08:00

(late blog)

Forget everything I've said about feeling blue! I'm staying in De La Salle University! No questions asked. Solid.
Ever since I got that application form to ADMU, I've been thinking about it through the past month and talking to people about it, and it's clear to me now that DLSU is the university for me. I guess getting that application form was just something I needed to do to calm the past.

D-LS-U! ANIMO LA SALLE!

The Future Finally Caught Up.

2012-01-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

I haven't been able to blog some time now. I'm just going to go ahead and blame it on the fact that I've been adjusting to my new schedule this term and failing miserably with regards to that. BUT more importantly, I was busy with my best man duties in the early half of January for my brother's wedding just last week.

Meet my new sister-in-law. :)

It was an absolutely beautiful wedding. But I guess under all the beauty of it all, what hit most in the wedding was how the future finally caught up with us. My brother finally got married, my sister in med school and me in college. In a few months, I'll practically be the only child left in our home. We're getting old. These were things me and my siblings would only talk about in the future tense. It all felt so far from us then. It was inevitable, I know. But I guess I just didn't it expect to creep on us so fast. Yesterday's future is indeed here and I've never been this uncertain about it. I guess that's what makes it so exciting. I guess sometimes I just want to go back to the days when we were young and we hadn't lost anything yet. I don't know, I guess we've been waiting so long for this, and now that it is here, we're not sure what to do. Doesn't matter. I guess we'll just have fun a long the way.

Feeling Blue.

2012-01-03T20:38:00.008+08:00

I'm not sure what happened really. Yes, I had originally wanted to go to the Ateneo maybe even UP, but I was ~~contented~~ happy in DLSU. I had met such amazing people there. I had no intentions of looking back. I was settled. It was supposedly final. But I guess now I'm applying to transfer to the Ateneo. Yes, the Ateneo. I think.

It was around the same time last year that I was panicking about the results of college entrance exams. And yet, one year later, I find myself in an all too familiar situation. Way too familiar. With so much forms and an essay to be done, I along with my other friends are taking the ACET (Ateneo College Entrance Test) on January 15, 2012. I'm asking the same question you probably are right now as you're reading this: WHY? And frankly, I don't have the answers either.

It is what you think it is.

It happened when I woke up the day after I got back from my crazy trip to Batangas with my awesome blockmates. Ulep texted me and then called. Ulep is one of my close friends in DLSU who had originally wanted to go the Ateneo, just like me. She said that her sister got her an Ateneo application form when we were in Batangas, and she was going for it. She urged me and our other friends to do the same. I guess the walang iwanan (nobody gets left behind) mentality kicked in and we did end up applying last minute. Ulep got our other friends application forms too the next day and I asked my friend in Ateneo to get me one. We passed the test permit just a few moments before the deadline, luckily that was the only thing we needed to pass then. Now, that leaves us with so much more things to take care of for the application, and worse, with a lot of questions.

We've been going nuts thinking about it lately.We didn't prepare for the ACET, we didn't expect it. Our hearts are torn between green and blue. And now so many questions are coming up as reality's catching up with the choice we've made. What the hell were we doing? What if we fail again? Could we take that all over again? What if this is just added and unnecessary stress? Could we even leave DLSU now that we've fell in so love with it? Do we really even want this? Are we doing the right thing? Now, we have none of the answers to those, but looks we're just going to go for it and see what comes of it...I think. We'll just have to wait and see what happens and what decisions we'll be making.

I feel like backing out now...i think.
Help me out here. Comment on it.

The Year was 2011.

2012-01-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

I've been meaning to write about how 2011 turned out for me. I've been looking back at the year for days now thinking how to really capture what 2011 was about for me. And here I am on January 1, 2012 writing this down this overdue entry.

I could have easily told the story about my many failures and pains like failing most of my college entrance exams or how I almost didn’t graduate high school. Maybe I could have told you about my first year in college and my simple accomplishments. I could have gone on and on about the people that shaped my in 2011 – family, new friends, old friends, lost friends, enemies and strangers. I could tell you countless stories of my crazy adventures with the best people in the world. But other than the fact that one entry probably wouldn't be enough for that, I don’t think that would come close to capturing what the year meant to me. I doubt any of us will put the label 2011 these priceless memories when we look back. Like they say, you remember moments not the days and I’m pretty much sure it’s the same with the year number.

Much like every year, 2011 had moments of laughter and tears. There were old friends and new ones. There was success and failure. There was love and heartache. There was regret and rejoicing. 2011 magnified these moments and emotions leaving me onboard for one hell of a rollercoaster ride. The year was the most bipolar one I’ve ever had in my life. 2011 will be remembered as the year taught me so much and as the year that changed me forever. I’ve learned how much stronger I am that I thought. I’ve learned about the world. I’ve learned to take it day by day. I’ve learned about life. I’ve learned to live.

I struggled a lot in 2011. I faced so much uncertainty and doubt. I had hit low going around in circles, but I’ve learned that after awhile you stop and realize that time flies too fast and the best thing you can do is take whatever comes to you, make the best of things and let go.

I’ll be leaving a lot of things behind in 2011, but I will be bringing everything I’ve learned into 2012. Cheers to 2011! But now it's time to move forward.

Rizal 2011.

2011-12-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

Happy Rizal Day, Philippines!
Let's remember the man that changed the course of our history.

2011 is Young, Wild and Free.

2011-12-27T22:55:00.005+08:00

2011's coming to a close, and with every year's closing, we look back at the songs of the year. Mashups like DJ Earworm's 2011 mash up: World Go Boom or Mashup-Germany's Top of the Pops 2011 Mashup are born. Radio stations left and right have been hailing their number 1 song of the year. American Top 40 has ranked Pitbull's Give me Everything as their top song (See list here). In the local scene though, me and my brother will just have to be content with guessing the top song on our favorite station until the coutdown on the 31st.

On a personal note though, Wiz Khalifa's "Young, Wild and Free" is my 2011 song. This is my year's theme song. It's been playing all year long for me and to simply put it, 2011 was all about being young, wild and free for me. It's been one hell of a year.

Cheers to 2011!

Stranded in Taft.

2011-12-26T12:27:00.001+08:00

Now that Christmas day has come to pass, everyone's looking to the next big celebration: New Year! And now that another year will soon come to pass, many people are now starting to look back at the year and reminse. The trending hashtag on twitter a day ago was #BestMemoryof2011 and #WorstMemoryof2011 and so wanting to join in, i looked back at the year and remember this experience in college - probably one of the best and worst in my book.

Originally posted on June 25, 2011.
They say college is a time for first, and i guess that includes getting stranded thanks to heavy rains and flooding. The experience of getting stranded in Taft was one hell of an experience, really. Not to mention being stuck with my blockmates for more than 12 hours. It was scary. It was fun. It was one hell of a day, hopefully not to be repeated. Looking back, i'm still not quiet sure how things got to how they were. I doubt anyone even really expected the typhoon to hit us so hard.

Taft Avenue at 10pm.

[11am-2pm]
The day started out normal and went by normally with the daily routine. Wake up, go to school, hang out, biology class, lunch with the gang, math class, but then anthropology class came. The last thing I remembered that made a semblance to a normal day was seeing my Antropology test score. 28/30, second highest in class.(let me brag a little) But then after that, things went by pretty fast.

[2pm-3pm]
A black out struck in my building. No elevators, no lights. Oddly enough, the generator didn't work. At first the professor opted to wait it out for awhile to see if the power would go back on and she refused to let us out. That left the block literally in the dark chatting, eating, joking, playing music and taking photos - typical LR45 behavior. Our professor finally caved in and let us go. I guess there's that anthro free cut we were craving for so long. We of course ended up having to go down the stairs from the 10th floor in the dark, but thank god for cellphones, iPods and iPads that double as flashlights now.

[3pm-6pm]

In the Pedicab!

When we got down, i'm not sure how or why it happened, but then we went on "adventure mode" as my friend, OJ, would say. My friends and I found suddenly ourselves in two pedicabs straight from outside our building going to my Enzo's dorm, sort of near by. The pedicab even passed straight through Taft avenue. It was the best and worst pedicab experience ever. It wasn't even raining so much then, but then it did start to pour on our way to the dorm.We even passed by some flooded sections on the way there, with manong telling us to raise our feet up. We eventually got there safe and sound, only thing was manong charged us 20 pesos each because of the minor flood we passed by. Though guests weren't allowed in the room of dormers, that didn't stop us. All seven of us hung out in Enzo's dorm room eating, singing, playing and even drinking booze OJ had bought in 7/11. But we were of course found out, the guard knocked on our door and demanded we leave...ehhh...didn't happen. We only went down on the second time the guard came and shouted at Enzo. Apparently, we made history. It was the first time ever that someone brought people up to the dorms. It wasn't a big deal for us really, or even Enzo. We just laughed it off.

[6pm-10pm]

The Stranded!

We were supposed to go home after that, but then in peeking outside, the floods were already surprisingly to high to get a pedicab, walk back to school or get to the LRT. We were stuck there. I volunteered to have my car try to come pick us up since my driver was just near school waiting, but that plan failed. My driver couldn't find the place and the floods in Taft were getting too high for cars. In fact, the four of us actually had a car around, but none of them could make it to us. Rains were just too hard, and Manila was underwater. My driver texted that Taft was one big parking lot underwater. So the seven of us had no choice but to play to waiting game in the dorm, but this time in the function rooms. While it was fun playing with the Ipad, trying to learn how to dance and do stunts, and talking endlessly about things, especially love. Two of the girls of the group started to panic and forced us that they were to try to brave the floods and get to school and the LRT. Even though us boys refused otherwise, they went through with it. Luckily, OJ, being such a father figure to us, went with the two girls just to help them. It wasn't long though since they all came back wet, telling us how it was impossible to cross the floods. And once, again we were stuck there. The dorm people must hate us so much, cause though we were stranded and scared, it never showed, we were hella noisy. We sung songs, drank some more, danced, told stories and shouted. My friends said that i guess we were better off being together stuck in the dorm, rather in school or away individually trying to get home. We thought that there was a reason why we were all there, that God brought us together there.

[10pm-11pm]

The Taft River

When we started to worry again, luckily Enzo's driver finally came with his Pajero to save us. It was lucky that he wasn't staying in the dorm that night and going back to his house in Marikina because of the holiday the next day. My driver was still off stuck in Taft, but my mother told me to hitch a ride with my friends and stay in OJ's house in San Juan first much like my other friends. According to my mom, even if i did get to my car, i'd just get stuck on the streets of Taft like everyone else. Enzo dropped us off at Metrobank near Taft where OJ's driver was, and we left for OJ's house. Enzo left us and went off to Marikina and our other friend, Tentay, got dropped off Ministop to wait for her sister and father also stuck in Taft. Luckily, our drive home was safe and the traffic wasn't bad at all since we passed by mostly dry land.

[11pm-3am]
We reached OJ's house safe and it was great having the comforts of home. OJ took care of us well. We were horribly sabaw by then though, and of course laughing and intense singing went on through the night, with accompanying drums and guitars in OJ's room this time. The stigma of the love talks earlier in the evening had obviously not wore off since the songs sung were mostly love songs sang off the top of our lungs. We even watched some good old childhood cartoons, and reminisced memories we had together in the one month we were blockmates, including OJ's party in the same house a week ago. We finally had dinner by 2am, and much like a family, we sat and ate together. Not long after that, I was fetched by my driver and OJ brought the two girls home in Katipunan, and Mitch stayed the night with OJ. I had to explain most of this to my parents when i got home, of course...censored version.

It was really one hell of an experience really. I never actually thought, i'd get stranded in Taft. I'm just really thankful we all made it safe, and i'm really thankful for my awesome friends who made the experience awesome, though it was scary. Spending more than 12 hours together really bonded us together. Though, it was a one hell of a great college experience, it's something i hope we don't have to experience again, but if i had to go through it again, i wouldn't want any other group of friends to go through it again with me. They've become like family to me now.

Credits to Chynna and Tentay for the photos of us. :)

That Wonderful Time of Year

2011-12-24T03:35:00.009+08:00

It's been a wild year for a lot of us, and its been awhile since many of us have felt the Christmas vibes we had when we were children, so this Christmas season, stop awhile. Escape the madness. Leave your problems awhile and enjoy the season of Christmas.

Take time off to enjoy that hot coco, how nice those Christmas lights are, how someone took time to wrap that gift for or how your friends and family are just awesome and...

-
Coldplay's cover of Have yourself a Merry little Christmas

.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away

Here we are, as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us
Once more

Through the years, we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star above the highest bough
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now

-

DLSU 111. Block 04145.

2011-12-20T04:19:00.018+08:00

I guess it's true that you meet the best people in college. Maybe because like what they say "the most interesting people are those who don't know what they want to do in life", and college is full of people like that. In my first year in DLSU, i was lucky enough to have been placed into an awesome block, DLSU 111 Block 04145, or simply LR45. I fell in love with these people way before i fell in love with DLSU as a school. These people turned my everyday life into an everyday adventure.These people became family to me. These friends are for keeps.

Now that the second term is over,and after roughly 7 months together, we're all forced to say goodbye to each other as blockmates. As as i was looking back at the literally hundreds of photos we've taken together, i'm thrown into memory lane: our centennial celebration, trip to Hidden Valley, being stranded in Taft, watching the UAAP games and CDC, our adventure trips to Katipunan and anywhere imaginable, trying out different ways to commute, terror profs, parties, last minute outings, watching dance competitions, dancing the Chacha for PE, enrollment, our Mercato nights, watching Jason Mraz live, photo shoots, speeding on the highway, drinking games and so much more. It only sinks in now how much i'm going to miss my block. These perhaps are some of the most amazing, crazy and fucked up people i'll ever meet in my life. I was able to do things i've never have and maybe never will again with these people. Perhaps they've changed me forever. It's amazing how close we've all become in a short period of time. College wouldn't be college without these crazy guys. I'm going to miss our adventures, our crazy nights, our sawi moments, our sabaw moments, our monopoly games, and all that, but what i'll miss most is the little things about them and just being with them every single day.

if you so happen to be my blockmate reading this, try listening to [this] as you look at the photos, and then continue on to your Facebook photos and reminisce. :)

See more photos.

You have no idea how much more photos I wanted to put, but I guess, these will do for now.
I'll never forget you, LR 45, you'll always be in my heart! You guys make me wanna stay in DLSU forever. Animo!

*photos taken by different people from LR45

The Biggest Experiment.

2011-12-19T03:19:00.001+08:00

Taken at Rm 404, Miguel Building, DLSU-M (2011)

Life's an experiment. Make Mistakes. Take Risks.
"You're not living if you haven't failed"

College.

2011-12-18T22:18:00.001+08:00

So i realized that a lot of the things i'll be blogging about is particularly about my stay in college. So far, two-thirds of my first year in college have already passed by. Way too fast really. But before i start talking about how my stay in college has been, i guess now's the perfect time to look back.

Here's an old blog I made back on June 8, 2011:
Time moves fast. It was around this time last year that i was worrying and panicking over college applications, and now suddenly, I'm now on my third week in college.

When you're a high school kid, you can't wait to get out of there and experience college. You start to have those dreams, goals, plans about the future, and that all starts with college. College is your first real life changing decision you'll have to make in your life - that's what they taught me in high school.

Photos of me before each entrance exam back in 2010.

None of my dreams and plans about college came true. I didn't get in the University of the Philippines (UP) or the Ateneo de Manila University (ADMU), my two dream schools. There was always something about UP that drew me to it, maybe it was the liberal feel to it. As for ADMU, let's just say I grew up in a very blue family. Maybe it was because I felt that these two universities really excelled in the arts and the humanities that made sold them to me.

But I ended up in De La Salle University (DLSU), and while I'm sure DLSU is a good university, I felt it wasn't for me. Besides, DLSU is #3, ADMU and UP are THE top 2. But what can you do when you don't really have a choice? I'm beating myself hard over not being able to get in my dream universities. I took (and am still taking) it pretty hard. I needed something to really look forward to in the future, I thought college would be the answer to that. It felt different after all that happening. It was, bluntly a horrible, experience from my schoolmates, classmates, family and worse, myself. I felt and still feel like much of a failure and a whole lot of stupid.

But you know, I'm on my third week of school, and it isn't as bad as I'd imagined. Sure, part of me still dies at the thought of not being where I dreamed to be. It's awkward when there's an ADMU-DLSU game, and you're the only one from DLSU. I still yearn for the (literally) green pastures on the other side. But, hey. The people have been amazing and the experiences are great so far. College is college.

I'm still planning to apply for a transfer to UP and ADMU, just to keep the doors open, but who knows, I might end up staying. (just think about the emotional attachment after one year)
After all, a lot can change in a year and I do plan to make the most of my first year in college, moving out or not.

Usually When Things Have Gone This Far, People Tend to Disappear.

2011-12-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

"If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me?
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me?"

-Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

It's simple, we've all got a story. This blog is a piece of mine. I've been trying to keep a blog going for the longest time and this is the Nth attempt. But i don't know, i have a good feeling about this one. This will be a blog about the everyday phenomena in my life. I'll be posting photos, stories, quotes, random thoughts and even blogs from my past (failed) blogs in an attempt to "capture the fleeting moments". So, stay if you want.

So here's to the to the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Here's to the fantasies my mind who often times flies away unconsciously. Here's to the random things going on in my life. Here's to the words I never said. Here's to the people in my life. Here's to the everyday phenomena. Here's to freeing my mind in search of. Here's to the wild rumpus. Cheers!